mom2binnyc

A lot of people are interested in the whole donor thing - do you go with anonymous? willing to be known? known? how do you choose? People have very strong opinions about this. We personally went with an anonymous donor. And let me tell you, he's a dreamboat. We found a few we REALLY liked from their short (free) profiles, and we narrowed it down to five. Since I'm the biological mom, we wanted to find the perfect male version of C. Our first choice is perfect -- his personality profile matches C's exactly, blue eyes, brown hair, very smart, an electrician (C's dad is an electrician), and when we heard his audio interview -- swoon! -- a great voice (C has an amazing speakinig voice) and very intelligent answers to all of the questions. Also, we kind of maybe would really like to have twins (C has a thing about twins being good luck for her, and I'm a twin myself) and our donor has tons of twins in his family.

The only problem was that there was no baby picture to buy!!! So we were concerned he might have three eyeballs or horns or something. You never know. And our number 2 choice was described by the staff as "very good looking," so we had to be shallow and debate over whether or not looks mattered more than personality. C called the sperm bank and explained our dilemna. She was reassured that our donor was "very good looking with a great smile." A group of women rated him a 7/8.5 in terms of appearance. Our second choice donor was also a 7/8.5 so that made us feel pretty good about our choice.

We bought all the information about our donor that was available. We're going to keep it all for our child (maybe make a scrapbook thing explaining it all and we put the audio interview on a CD for him/her) and just be very open about the whole donor thing. This is also a very touchy subject for a lot of people, like is it selfish to have a child without knowing who the "dad" is?

We have a friend whose mom used a sperm donor, and she is our age and has reassured us that she really never cared about "the dad" because her mom was a great parent and told her openly that she used a donor. I think (hope!) that if we are open, it won't matter so much not knowing the donor's exact identity.